MOST NAMES HERE AREN'T REAL!!! I like to protect the privacy of those in my life (even if they're ASSHOLES), so I won't be using their real names unless I get permission. The shit that I say here's true, but most proper nouns have been changed.
TLDR: I made up most of the NAMES written here.
Dear die-ary, I feel like I've been getting to comfortable. The way I interact with my friends; I'm too confident. I need to be more careful or they'll find me annoying and leave. I like speaking my mind, but I don't want them to leave. I feel like I'm so damn replaceable. Also, the way that Pants and GayMan talk about Dick Grayson... It makes me uncomfortable. I'M Dick Grayson. I probably sound so mentally ill rn idk but uhgrguruh yeah... I wanna tell them about it, but I don't wanna seem, like, self-centered or smth!! Anyways, I meant to type here yesterday, but I ended up forgetting, sooo... On the 27th, Ramen and a new server member (I'll call them Toilet here) were talking in #media and I told them to move to #general and they didn't move to #general. This is probably gonna sound so stupid to get upset over, but GayMan had to tell them to get out of media so that they'd actually change the channel they were talking in. I hate that they didn't listen to me when I told them to switch the channel they were talking in! Even worse is the fact that something like this has happened before! But it was with GayMan and Pants. I can't find the damn messages, though. Anyways, idk, I'd like it if my friends could just listen to me.
Dear die-ary, I found the messages!! GayMan and Pants were having a convo in the ranting channel and I told them to get out of the ranting channel in a silly way, but they didn't! And I acted like it was fine; like it was just a silly little thing, but it srsly upset me. Ramen had to tell them to go to #general or a custom channel for them to actually change the channel they were talking in. Anyways, that's it, I got upset because my friends didn't listen to me when I told them to do smth!!
Dear die-ary, I fee; so sick dude like so nausea im neaiudan naoujseous idk. i hate monutnain dew so mjuch dude. it keeps haunting me its so evil!!! moiuntian deew!!! i hate the new logo i hate their marketing rn its not mountin dew !!! who possesed them ??:( i hate soup!!!!
Dear die-ary, I feel so much better! Still feelin' kinda vomit-y but that happens, like, every time I eat so who caresssss..
Dear die-ary, I've been so busy lately. I love having responsibilities, yet I don't really like actually having to take care of them. I hope I'm making sense here, but it's alright if I'm not. I guess I'm just scared of doing things wrong. I also wish that I had some more time to myself. Like, I'm always just either working, hanging out with friends, going out to the store, or playing wordle. Lately, I've only been truly admiring my beauty, like, twice daily?? Ughh, ja, idrk where I'm going with this. I like being the owner/leader of things, I really do! And I also like having responsibilities! I just wish that I didn't get so damn anxious. Like, I'm so on edge whenever I make a decision because I fear I'm taking care of the situation incorrectly and my friends are gonna hate me! So far, my fears have never come to fruition. Honestly, I shouldn't even be writing this right now. I need to get back to work; I keep getting distracted.
Dear die-ary, I feel like I'm getting way too comfy! Like, I should still be careful with what I say! My friends can still leave me. I mean my online friends rn btw cuz my irl ones wouldn't leave mee.. Anyways, ICK, Penis, and I have decided to join this competition! Competition!! make. comic. team !!!! as. I'm happy. Who set my penis on fire? For the comic thingy, I get to uhmm do the personalities?? of the charactersss. Ja yay! OK BYE!!!!!
Dear die-ary, I'm anxious again! Honestly, it kinda sucks how much these people mean to me. I don't wanna fvck this up. I feel like I already have, though. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be? Maybe it was fvcked up from the start? Maybe I just shouldn't have friends at all. Anyways, lemme introduce some new characters, I guess! Since I've been more active in different spaces online, I've made some friends there. Not here, this is seperate. But, I have so many friends! I'm so popular, it's great! Except for the fact that I only actually talk to, like, 3 of them. I love them so much, they're great! But they're so scary sometimes??! It sucks; I don't wanna be scared to interact with my friends. I know it's my own fault that my brain hates me and wants me to be scared since only one of those 3 people are actually intimidating. They're my friends, yet I still feel like I can't fully relax, you know? Uhh, lemme give you some names since I'll probs bring them up again.. especially considering the fact that they're my best friends at the moment, other than ICK. Soo, I lost all my creativity with these made up names... Hold on, I'll come up with something.
Dear die-ary, I'm back! I've decided I'll refer to them as Ramen, Pants, and GayMan!! Anyways, yeah, I've known them, like... since the start of this year? Ja, idk, I'm not rlly as anxious rn sooo yay! Okay, bye... I'm going to the store!! ^_^
Dear die-ary, I feel a lot better! I hate how all this fear has become a regular occurrence or smth. Anyways, my trip to the store was great! I also have a really funny story! So, we were going to the water isle to get water and there were these 2 chicks that were using those electric shopping carts and just playing with them! They obviously didn't need them and were using them to just fuck around! Anyways, they were also in the way, so we weren't able to get water. But this story has a happy ending! An employee used the intercom to make an announcement or smth and those asshats got in trouble! Anyways, that was rlly funny, I'm still laughing as I type this. Also, we forgot to get the water.
Dear die-ary, I was extremely anxious over the past 2(??) days. I feel so much better now! It's not the end of the world! I hate how scared I get for no reason. Anyways, I don't really have much to say at the moment. This is very odd considering the fact that I tend to talk a lot, but anyways, I'm just gonna be happy about the fact that I'm not so on edge anymore.
Dear die-ary, I'm extremely on edge!! Why do people have to be so scary?! Even my close friends. Actually, the reason I'm so on edge right now is because of one of my close friends! I feel like he hates me. I don't wanna lose him, but I don't want him to be my friend if he doesn't like me. Why am I so damn shaky?? I feel like I should be able to accept this by now. I knew this was coming. He's so fucking cool. I'm so fucking stupid. I knew he'd hate me. I hope I'm just being paranoid right now. I guess I'm trying to accept it, but there's a chance that he doesn't hate me. This has happened before. I keep getting scared that he hates me and then it turns out I was freaking out over nothing. I can't fucking take this, dude. Also, I hate skool! I'm home and stuff, but my friends are at skool. I miss them. Mainly one friend, but yk.
Dear die-ary, there are a few things that I've recently discovered about myself. Well, the things kinda hold hands and have gay sex, so ig it's just 2(?) things! My memory isn't the best, but I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned this before. I'm pretty sure I'm a narcissist. I can't try and get diagnosed yet, so I'm not gonna go around telling people that I'm narcissistic, but I just thought it was worth mentioning! I mentioned it to some of my friends, and some of them said different things along the lines of "yeah, I see it" or "but you're not manipulative!" soo, yeah, I'll keep you updated on that... Anyways, the other thing is that I've recently discovered that I'm autosexual! I'm just soooo kewl and in love with myself like that or smth. I srsly should just date myself atp, but that's not what normal people do, so I won't! Yeah, that's that.. Let me tell you about my day!! My day fucking sucked ballz! I started skool today! I'm doing virtual skool uhh I hope skool dies! SKOOL, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, GO DIE!!!! Thaaaanks!!!!!!!! Okay, that's it, bye!
Dear die-ary, I'm so fvckin' sick. I think it's a stomach bug? I'm unsure, but it's so horrible!! I've been, like, glued to the toilet for HOURS!! HOURS, I TELL YOU!!! I'm in so much pain. My butthole hurts. A part of me was debating actually writing this and shit but uhmm idk it's not like anyone reads it. And if someone does, then ig that's their own fault! Be scared of my website and how much information that isn't needed gets shared here! Shake, quake, and shiver in your boots!
Dear die-ary, guess who isn't giving the toilet more trauma at the moment!!! Me!! I feel so much better! I'm not sick anymore, I'm eatin' some rlly good pineapple slices! Yaaaayyy!! Now it's time for me to provide way too much info about my horrible diarrhea. Anyways, yesterday, I went to the doctor! The psychiatrist, to be specific! It wasn't fun; idk why I'm typing this out so enthusiastically. Anyways, she changed my prescriptionnn and all that junk idk... But, like, let me tell u what happend b4 we left!! It was so bad. Okay, so, first, I went to the store and shit, right? And THEN, I'm home, and I go to the toilet and I have the worst watery poop ever, it was so bad. So fucking bad. This happened at about 1500, so I was gonna be late for my appointment! I was late for my appointment, but it's fine, everything went well. Other than the fact that I was in such extreme pain thru out the whole damn thing. And, to make it worse, I didn't sleep in a while, so I was extra irritable! After that, I go home at about 1630, and I'm, like, glued to the fucking toilet. These pineapple slices are so good; I loooove pineapples, they're my second favorite fruit (second to bananas!!). Anyways, I was miserable like that until some point between 0100-0300?? I ended up taking a nap! BUT THEN I HAD TO GET UP TO GO TAKE A SHIT!!!! At about 0400, I was back on the toilet! ZOMG MY FUCKING MOUTH HURTS OWWW EVIL PINEAPPLES!!! I forget that pineapples eat u or whatever. They're still second best, even if they're evil. Okay, my mouth hurts a lot. Anyways, I was in SO MUCH PAIN! Like, it was genuinely so horrible! I wouldn't wish that upon anyone (I lied there, but whatever...), especially not myself! (TRUTH!!!) I can't even properly explain how agonizing last night was. I finally was able to stop shittin' at about... well, a bit before I started typing this out! Also, I've been typing on here so much lately MAINLY because I've kinda lacked the energy to talk myself outloud or to talk to Patricia. (I never really had any meaningful conversations with her, but I know she'll never leave me, so I tell her stuff!!(Also, I used her real name cuz she isn't as real as she thinks she is, tbh. I didn't ask for permission because I didn't need it. Who even is she?? Barely anyone knows of her existence. Sometimes, I even question her existence! I do A LOT, actually. (IF U DO KNOW HER, DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT!!!))) ZOMG I've been typing this for over 30 minutes!! O.o I think I'll wrap this up... Thanks for "listenin'". Dunno what to call my digital diary thingy. Tell me ur name next time, maybe.
Dear die-ary, I still feel scared. I don't wanna say that I know it's gonna happen, but I srsly feel like all my friends are gonna leave me. I feel like they're starting to hate me. What if they never even liked me to begin with?? I'm so damn scared they're gonna leave me. I don't want them to leave me. I don't want them to hate me. I feel like I need to be ready for them to leave me. I feel like I need to prepare. I don't fucking know how to do so, though. And what if they don't leave me? What if I'm just making myself seem like a fucking idiot for even having that thought?
Dear die-ary, I don't even feel like looking in the mirror. Usually, that's what I do to make myself feel better because idk I jus' like looking at my face. But no matter how beautiful I am, my friends probably hate me!!!!!!!!!! I cant fucking take this i cant do this dude i cant have them leave me . nevermind. who needs friends??? smh !!! notme !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck
Dear die-ary, I am feeling very fearful!! I dislike this. I'm so fvckin' shaky dude like it's srsly not funny I hate thsi I feel like thw world's gonna end. amd by the world edning i mean that my biological brother's gonna find out the shit i've been doing and yell at me.uhrurhrgh I knoww it's not that big of a deal if he yells a me but im just scared man i dibt hnoliek nbeing scared im so fearful spookied im so spookied inm shaken!!!!!!!!!!
Dear die-ary, I keep forgetting this website exists lmao!! Anyways, I'm probably, hopefully gonna go to skewl this year!!! I'm soooo excited... I've also been single for way too long! I haven't had a girlfriend in over a year!!! That's fucked up imo. Especially cuz I'm so cool and handsome?? I'm also super charismatic, like, I have A LOT of friends!! Why won't any of them just fucking date me?? I'm so attractive. I wish other people could see how damn perfect I am. Anyways, I'm not feeling as silly as usual. I wonder what would happen if anyone found this page. By anyone, I mean people I know. I've shown this site to one person I know irl but uhmm yeah idk. They'll probably want me out of their lives, wouldn't they? diediedieeeeeeedieeeeeeeedieeee!!!! DIE 1!!!!!
Dear die-ary, I've decided I'm gonna write here more!! Seriously, I keep forgetting this site exists cuz my memory is such a bitch! But, I'm HOPEFULLY gonna remember that I can write here! To my knowledge, nobody reads this shit, so I don't have to worry about my words having real-life consequences! And by real-life consequences, I mean when my biological brother yells at me and calls me a narcissist cuz I decided to be a petty asshole and rant about my mom to my friends...
Dear die-ary, I HATE how time passes by so quickly. Like, it's hard to keep track of idk. I also hate how evil my mind is!!! Like, the way my brain doesn't work right. I know I'm mentally ill, but can my fucking brain just stop being evil????? please?? I hate being sleepy, too. I'm so sleepy rn and it's fucking hellish, dude. And ik I say this almost all the damn time, but human bodies SUCK!!! They suck so fucking badly. Especially mine! My stupid body affects me more than any else's body affects me so ofc I'll say that. I'm so confused rn actually cuz I love myself so much, but I wish I was different? I wish I was better. It's such an odd thing because I've acknowledged the fact that I'm perfect but I feel like I should be better. How can I be better if I'm perfect? "nobody's perfect" they say. They clearly haven't met me. Can you improve on perfection? I AM perfection, but I can be better. Who even cares about me? I don't mean, like, who cares if I live or die, cuz ik there are people that'd be sad if I died, but I mean who cares about what goes on in my head? I talk too much. I love myself!!!
Dear die-ary, I fear I might be in love. I don't know what to do about this, especially since I don't think he feels the same way. Adding onto that, I've never dated a guy before sooooo yeah. He's, like, a rlly good friend of mine, too! I don't wanna ruin what we have. I don't think I've had a crush on anyone in years. I've been single for way too long. It'd be nice if I could date myself. I love myself. Like, c'mere, Trolli! Marry me! You're so great and perfect and hansome, I love you! I wish I could marry myself. I mean, maybe I could, but in the future. I'm too young to get married and settle down... If I were to date someone else, though, would I be cheating? What the fuck am I yapping about. I think I love him. I really like the idea of a relationship. I know honesty's the best policy, but I'm too fucking fearful. I don't wanna tell him. I want him to know, tho. Anyways, I was eating this popsicle stick!!! I loooooove popsicle sticks!!!
Dear die-ary, EVERYTHING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! I hate everything, apparently. I got caught up on tadc which was nice!! I loooooove Gangle! She just like me fr!
Dear die-ary, it's been a while! I just had a super hot makeout sesh with a mannequin and you missed out... tragic indeed. WE'RE SO BACK, THO!! ^^
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