Dear die-ary, I'm watching south park right now while typing this. I love south park. Anyways, it's halloween tomorrow!! Goddamnit, there's like nothing to talk about... I might go back to public skewl!! I'm failing online skewl, sooo yeah!! Oh, wait, I already mentioned that last entry. God, there really isn't anything to talk about. Season 19 and 20 of south park can suck my balls!!!!! I don't want all that serialization in my south park smh. Okay, I don't really care that much, but I feel like typing here! The past couple of days have been the same thing over and over again. The only thing that made yesterday slightly different than the others was that I was a bit more anxious than usual. uhrgrhrgrghhg idk what to say, man... I hate my friendssss, i thikn theyre stupidddddd... ok thats it. also, im a liar; i dont hate my friends. kmssssss... play south park: the stick of truth; its sooo awesome!! ok thats it bye gng.
Dear die-ary, I'm writing here. Did I mention that I abuse cough syrup on this website? So, it's almost halloween. I'm excited for that!! Going trick or treating with my two real-life friends if I don't get kicked out of skool. If I do get kicked out and I don't get to go, I'll jiust go anyways becuase like whos gonna stop me? like the song.. the weird al and portugal the man song.. I recognized korn when they came on the radio even though the only korn song ive listened to is here to stay,, specifically the msi remix. there's a chance I'll get put back into publc skool because im a fucking loser that cant do his work for online skool... hopefully I don't get bullied again!
Dear die-ary, I'm going to some arcade thingy today! I woke up at about 19:30 yesterday. My computer keeps lagging and it's pissing me off. I was thinking of redoing the format of my die-ary entries in the next page. God, I can't think. Form thoughts, shitwad.
Dear die-ary, I'm sick. I can't stop fvckin' sneezing and coughing. idfk how to properly document my life urghghrghrgh,,,
Dear die-ary, Trolli needs to stop forgetting that he has a fucking website. Anyways, hi! Today, I went to go pick up my biological brother from skool. After that, we got gas and pizza! I got pasta. THEY PUT FVCKIN' MEAT IN MY PASTA!!!!!!!!!! I asked for spinach, pineapple, and mushrooms. THEY PUT MEATTTTTTT WTF!!!! pmo.
Dear die-ary, I haven't gotten a chance to write here as I've been mostly out of the house or asleep for the past couple of days. I'll catch you up on what happened in chronological order!! So, on the 29th, I did normal things like going to the store and such; I didn't have much time to go online and write here. Then, at about midnight, my biological brother cut my hair for me and did a pretty good job imo! I tried befriending 2 different bugs. Also, I'm sleepy as I'm typing this; apologies if it's a bit incoherent. So, then, on the 30th, I woke up real late! I forgot I was typing here, hi!! I got distracted for, like, half an hour. I forgot where I went on 30th, but I know I was sweeping outside for an hour!! It was fun, though it was also very humid out. Also, my arms hurt quite a bit. Anyways, now onto yesterday! First day of October! It was fun, I got to go to a gas station, pick up my biological brother from skool, go to ANOTHER gas station because my biological mom's car broke down, and eat a gas station sammich! I also got some mtn dew code red! It was soooo awesome.
Dear die-ary, I'm starting to question my motivations. Why do I write here? Also, I don't hate my friends. I genuinely wish that I wouldn't get so anxious over nothing. My friends still love me. My friends still wanna be my friends. I shouldn't try to distance myself from them. I got interrupted by someone giving me a compliment on an online game. God, I'm so bad at interacting with people. Anyways, I took a shower yesterday! That was nice. Also, I forgot to mention that on Wednesday, I found out that I had been diagnosed with ADHD. Now, I'm gonna try and explore why I write here, I guess. So, Trolli, what brings you to Earth? what am i saying uhmmm. So, I guess it's kinda a good way to get my thoughts out? why? why get the thoughts out of ur head? I'm sleepy. Maybe I'm doing this with the hopes that someone will find it? Is this a cry for help? I mean, probably not since I'd be scared if my friends were to tell me "hey, Trolli, I found ur website!!". I mean, it's not too important to think about my motivations. I kinda just like knowing these things, tho. So, back on the topic of friendship! I love my friends. Hey, wait, I think this might just be me dissecting my own psychology. Anyways, I love my friends! They're great and I don't wanna lose them. I just got distracted by my own beauty for 10 minutes. Anyways, I love them but I also sometimes feel like it'd be better if we weren't friends. I love friendship and I think it's really awesome, but maybe I just wasn't meant to have friends. I'm not really a good friend. I talk shit about all of my friends. I mean, I don't talk shit about them to other people, but I say things to myself. I think Buttcheeks is the only one I've never said ANYTHING negative about. Yeah, I dunno, I think I'm done with that. I'm fvckin' sleepy.
Dear die-ary, my computer keeps lagging and it's pissing me off! Anyways, I've been feeling pretty anxious lately. I could probably stop feeling anxious if I took my damn pills, but I hate taking them. I feel like I'm being a bad friend. I wonder if my friends hate me the same way I hate them. And when I say I hate them, is it truly hatred I feel? I wish I had answers. I wanna talk to my friends about these things, but honestly I'm scared that they hate me or smth! I've been trying to distance myself from them lately so that they could maybe realize how badly I suck and then leave. I mean, I honestly don't really want them to leave. I love them. I don't know why I wanna get rid of them. I think it's to avoid further anxiety. I don't wanna lose them. I'm crying now. Damnit, I don't want to lose them. I'm doing this to myself. It's entirely my own fault that I feel this way. "Everyone makes mistakees" but trolli's fucking up real badly right now. he's fuckingb up really badlu right now!!!! I don't wanna lose them. Fuckk, I suck. I mean, it's alrgith!!!!! its alright, im a literal genius!!!!!!!!!!! fuck you,trolli.
Dear die-ary, anxious, anxioussss!!!! he feels anxiousssss!!! I'm fucking crying over what??? I did this to myself. Is this just how desperate I am to be the victim??????? is tgat it?? are you like a masochist or something? you sick fuck, do you get off on this?? trolli, are you jjerking off to the fact that evryone fucking hates you:??????? is that whats going on? why are you asking me? i know as much as you do. i know im not jerking off. whyd i askk?? you know why you asked. youre just crazy or something. you fucking faggot. nghhh!! ahhh!! everyone hates meeee nghhh!! im sooo into this imncoming!!!!! nghhhh.. I dont think I want them to hate me.
Dear die-ary, I keep getting muscle spasms and it's pissing me off. Anyways, I'm going to tell you about how yesterday was! Yesterday was really awesome. I went to walgreens. I don't have much to say rn tbh.
Dear die-ary, I watched the new season of futurama! I did last night when it came out, and I enjoyed it! I'll talk about it a bit more on another part of my website. Anyways, after that, I went to sleep aand now I'm awake! Anyways, this is probably gonna sound really stupid, but I was sooooo pissed off yesterday for, like, no reason. So, GayMan watched the animated pilot and watched someone read the comics of the eltingville club. (idrk how to properly word that uhrghhrghrrgh) Anyways, I like that comic! Uhmm, yeah, idk, I got upset that my friend got into smth I like. I mean, I'm over it now, but it's like... first, Pants gets into DC and now GayMan gets into The Eltingville Club?? I mean, luckily those aren't really my main interests tbh. Well, I really like DC, but I still have Futurama!!! I'm soooo awesome and optimistic, yeahhh. rghrrhgrhg ok uhmm i hate my friends bammmmm!! That's not true, I love my friends. I think I'm just kinda self-centered idk. Ok, what am I saying?? I'm very self-centered. Trolli, you're a narcissist!! Anywaysssss, I say anyways too much. It just kinda pmo how, like, I enjoy that thing! And now my friend enjoys it. Like, I wouldn't really care if they just enjoyed it casually, but when they get rlly into it, it pmo. Buuuut, it's fine! I'm over it!
Dear die-ary, I'm very excited for futurama season 13, it's coming out in about 7 hours on hulu!!!! Anyways, let me get you caught up on what's been going on. So, yesterday and the day before (Saturday and Sunday), I was @ Penis' house!! I slept over. I got to sleep in his new bed that I helped pick out! It was nice; he doesn't have bedbugs. Also, being @ his house and stuff makes me realize further just how badly my house sucks. But I'll stay optimistic because I KNOW the future is better. I don't have to live in "hell" forever. Teens always have angst or smth idk. I'm a teeennnagerrrrrrrrrrrrr!! A super awesome teenager. Anyways, Penis and I made soup! It was cheddar brocolli or smth like that. I cut the vegetables 2 weeks ago and I got to use a cheese grater for the first time!! I did such a good job and I put sooo much love into that. A while after we finished the soup, we ate it! It was rlly good other than the fact that we added too much cheese and the vegetable pieces were too big. Anyways, THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU LEARN A LESSON!!! SOUP IS EVIL!! After all of the love I put into that soup, IT STABS ME IN THE BACK! I was in SO MUCH PAIN!!! It was so bad. I CLOGGED PENIS' TOILET!!!!! I TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT AND THEN ALSO ANOTHER SHIT THQAT WAS LIKE WATERY IDFK!!! It was sooo bad. Now, Penis didn't really care and he said it was fine, but I still felt like a bad guest. I mean, at this point, I'm more than a guest, sooo I guesssssss it's fine idfk dieeeeeee die trolli die!!!!!!!!! Yesterday, I talked with Ramen on a call! It was nice. Goodbye.
Dear die-ary, I'v been watchin more porn latelyy also immm my brain inst working rgiht so i might not be making sense. It's hard to w ord things and thype at the mome t. I'm not doing very good, i wfear the world is ending. sleeeeepy i should sleep. i sont sleep tohuhg im just tired. my friends undertstand me but i feel mainly alon ein the world. i neeeeed myself i need me so badly genuinely i make myself so happy i love myelf i understand myself i dont need anyone else but IM MTSLEF I WANT ME1!!! i want me but not as myself i need myself i cant fucking kiss myself on the cheek i cant give mysel fa blowjob i cant!!!!!!!!!!!n i cant. i can kiss my lips in the mirrror mirror reflection i cant feel the skin. i can only kis smy lips. I could kiss photos. its not the same as a real human. im so [pathetic i wantt a loverrrrr i want ME i want to be my lover. im so sexyyy and beautiful i want myself I NEEDDDDDD MYSELF dso badly dudeeee. if i cant have myself then can I atleast have a girlfriend???? I want a girlfriend. I'm fucking lonely and I barely get to see my friends anymore. whyyy must they go to skool/?? stupid education./ i knoww my friends are here for me. there. but they all have their own numnbeer oness. patns and gayman have each other. ramen has his girlfriend. and i knowwww that ick, penis, and mee are a trio but it feels like the two of them could just leave me idk man im like the stupidest one in our group! im fucking useless. im nobodys number one. my friends love me and stuff, yeah, but i still feel so fucking alone. nobody loves me like i love me. nobody will love me like i love me. nobody even CAN love me like i love me. I have to be my own number one. i feel so fucking replaceable. it used to feel likee i was a leader; someone my friends look up to. i now realize that im not better than them at all. and though it hurts to admit, i was never eally much of a leader. liiike i own the uhh server idfk and i have my name on things, but that doesnt make me a leader. i sorta claimed the role, but im not a leader. im such a natural born leader tho ngl!!! but i dont think my friends see me as such. im a fucking idiot. I dont know anything. I END UP ASKING SO MANY DAMN QUESTIONS BECAUSE IM SO STUPID AND NAIVE AND I DONT KNOW JACK SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fucking suck. sooo yea im replaceable !!!!!!!!! i dont evenhave an importannt role in my friend grouspss im just a fuckingg loser. such a fucking loser a loser thats so damn in love with hhimself. why???? why is he like this??? trolli why are you like this??? why is he in love with himself when hes so damn horrible?????? is he even human???!?!?!????
Dear die-ary, it turns out that nobody in skool liked me. Other than staff members and the, like, 5 people that I was actually friends with, everyone disliked me. I mean, it is natural to hate people, I would know, but I'm still pretty flabbergasted that SO MANY PEOPLE HATED ME! Most people in the skool fvckin' hated me. Am I seriously that much of a damn weirdo?? I'm so great, what the hell!! I wish I would've known sooner, honestly, I feel like such an idiot now. Also, I'm just talking about middle skool rn! Middle skool was evil! Who gaf?! Damnit, I'm pretty sure people didn't like me in elementary skool either now that I'm thinkin' about it... they went to my birthday parties, though! I have friends, though, so it's fine if the majority of people hated me. I luckily don't care too much about them! It makes me a bit sad, yes, but those people don't matter; for that, I am very grateful.
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